Monday, January 17, 2011

No Solution, Yet...

Ahhh... the sun was out in all its absent glory yesterday. And, what a better way to pass a sun-shiny Sunday than by arguing... Mr. You-know-who said it was a "discussion". How kind of him to say so... about ideas as to how we could adequately arrange the bathroom fixtures in the 80 square feet of bathroom in the Upstairs Apartment. None of them, however, after two hours of "discussion", sounded the call of... Ah-ha! That's it!!!

Let me set before you the dynamics of the Bathroom's space & its functions...
to get from the future bathroom door to the niche opposite is two long lunges before you'd crash into that niche.  And, from the left hand wall, which closes off the Bathroom from the open space of the living area (out of view) to the window opposite (also out of view on the right in the photo), comes to about a lunge and... gosh... a quarter before you would fly pell-mell out the window to a predictably cruel landing on the Cortile's stone pavers below. Within this relatively squished rectangle must go, at least... since, months ago, I had to chuck the idea of putting in a lion-heads footed bath-tub, not forgetting the more recent catapulted bidet from any scheme... damn-it. I'm sorry, a shower spray-hose may do the trick of a bidet but, with a bidet, one can remain fairly well clothed, thank you so very much... of a old stone sink, a toilette and a shower platform. The Spatial Planning of these three elements is akin to that insidious car-trip game of moving the letters of the alphabet around a small plastic game board into their proper alphabetic order. As adept as you might be with the A-B-C-D... X-Y-Zs,  you discover there is always a letter or two forever out of synch. Ditto for this darn Bathroom exercise.
For your kind edification, here below is an explanation of one of the ingenious yet failed plans from our "discussion"... please pay close attention...
the old stone sink would go in the niche opposite. It's that black plastic tub. Fine. Would seem to be a good place for such a fixture, light in the arch above one's head, etc...
the shower platform, represented by that plank on the floor of its general dimensions would go on the right. However, it would impinge upon the standing space in front of the sink. There is never any sense in stubbing one's toe on a marble anything. Now, I'm going to be ugly here... if I were a midget, like a Certain Some-one, then, the shower platform could cleanly sit in that tight corner to the right of the sink, but, I am not. No. I am a 225 lb. white-wine nourished American man requiring a MINIMUM of a shower platform 90 cm x 100 cm. That corner can handle one of 65 cm x 110 cm.... the 10 extra cms are at the wrong end... damn-it.
and, the toilette, represented by those two green plastic watering cans, would go on the left-hand wall a bit away from the sink & towards the bathroom door. May I say... the very same person who suggested this arrangement, is the one & same, who categorically stated that toilettes SHOULD NEVER BE IN PLAIN VIEW!!! Made aware of this logistical oversight, the two cans were summarily moved by said person to an imaginary wall about where that little triangle of plywood is in the photo. However, this location presents problems of waste elimination. Che sara' sara'.
And so on & so forth with several other equally inadequate schemes.
Then, to break from the Bathroom, we moved onto checking the Kitchen scheme only to discover there are annoying problems there too!!! Gads.




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